Are all the good bebes taken?

December 19, 2008 at 11:22 am (body language, couples, dating, kenya, love, women) (buzz, couples, daily nation, eastandard, insight, kenya, love, mantalk, pulse, zuqka)

The reality is, there are more quality chikadis
on this planet than any one man could hope to
meet in his LIFETIME. No matter how you
personally define ‘quality’.

Chief, trust me, they are NOT all taken.

Not by a long shot.

Still, I can relate to what you are talking
about, because I used to think the same way.

What tends to happen when we are still
building confidence with women is we spend a
lot MORE time hanging out with amazing women
that are in relationships, and a lot LESS time
with amazing women who are NOT in
relationships.

When that’s the case, we very naturally focus
on all the great women we CAN’T have and MISS a
lot of amazing women that are around us that
may or may not be in relationships.

These days I spend most of my time with
amazing women that are NOT in relationships -
either flirting trying to pick them up, out on
dates with them, or meeting them as they are
casually dating my friends or roommates.

On the other hand, since most of my friends
are single, and I don’t work in an office, I
spend almost NO time with quality women that
ARE ‘taken’.

I can also tell you in my experience that
while exceptional women are much more likely to
be DESIRED by men, they are NOT more likely to
be in a relationship. They can get a man any
time of course, and often feel secure being
single for a while.

So from my perspective, all the amazing women
are single!

Who’s right?

It’s just a matter of what you focus on. It
kind of like when you think about buying a mots
and then all of a sudden you see it EVERYWHERE
you go.

I’m sure I meet great women in relationships
all the time, I just don’t FOCUS on them
because I make sure I spend more time with
great women who are single.

Now for part 2, the practical advice.

When you are stuck on a negative perspective
with women…

START DATING!

Just start now.

Even if you go on some so-so dates, you’ll
start feeling better about yourself and your
options immediately.

(Women do this ALL THE TIME, by the way. They
just go on dates for fun when they need a good
boost to their self esteem – why not?)

Don’t just try to find that ‘perfect’ woman,
because…

A. She might not exist, and

B. You’ll miss out on an amazing wealth of
opportunities to meet a lot of FUN women, and
improve your attraction & rapport skills for
when you do find THE woman.

And one more thing, this is important… I’ve
found as I’ve dated many different women, as I
get to know them, they surprise me and often I
like them more and more as we get to know each
other.

Remember, often women act differently when you
first meet them, because society has
‘programmed’ them to BE a certain way around
men.

Listen, I want a woman who is self confident,
athletic, intelligent, and has a clear set of
goals and direction in her life.

Many woman won’t show those qualities when you
first meet them, and it’s because frankly a lot
of guys would be intimidated by a woman like
that.

But when a woman gets to know you and you let
her know you like those qualities, you may be
amazed at what you find. It’s happened to me
many times.

So the big lesson here is to simply just START
dating. Go meet some women and set up simple
fun things to do with them.

You’ll get better with women, you can have a
good time, and you may be surprised when you
find a woman who meets your standards AFTER you
get to know her.

And remember, the more women you have in your
life, the more attractive other women will find
you.