How to Give Her New Experiences..;-)
One of the most shocking realizations I came across in studying human psychology is ALSO one of the most useful in relationships with women. Here it is: As a group, we humans are TERRIBLE at predicting how we will feel about almost ANYTHING significant we haven't yet experienced. I'm NOT a psychologist, but what I'm sharing with you is generally accepted by all those scientist-types and is backed by tons of studies. This may sound uninteresting, but it is the key to why MOST guys do all the WRONG things when they are trying to lead a woman into a new experience. And once you understand this phenomenon - and how to use it - you will find leading women through new experiences to be much simpler. Whether you want to share new levels of physical intimacy, take a serious relationship to a new level, or start a casual affair she may not be used to, this can help you. Sound good? Okay, back to our psychology lesson. If you imagine a change in your life - anything from a move, to a death in the family, to a change in job responsibilities - you probably have an idea what it will FEEL like and HOW you would react to it. And chances are, you'd be wrong. Chances are good you'd actually feel much differently about it then you had predicted you would. (Don't worry, that doesn't make you an idiot or anything, it just makes you human) I've noticed this is also true about new experiences. Okay, so what does this have to do with WOMEN? Not much, unless you happen to be the kind of guy that wants to lead a woman (or a LOT of women) through some new experiences. Personally, that is one of my FAVORITE things to do - if you feel the same, then let me share how powerful this phenomenon can be. It turns out that if you want to know how you will feel about something, you are BETTER OFF relying on SOMEONE ELSE's opinion. Someone who has been through the experience before. (Or, even better, someone who has coached others through the experience.) This is a bit of a head trip, but if you have been with women as they go through a NEW experience, then you are actually BETTER at imagining how they will react to the experience then THEY are. You are much better at preparing them, guiding them, and taking care of them then they could ever be. Not because you're brilliant. Not because you are a man. Because you are EXPERIENCED. Okay, so here is what is counterintuitive about all this. When MOST guys want to do something NEW with a woman, they do the WORST THING POSSIBLE. They make a BIG DEAL out of it somehow. Maybe they have a serious sit-down talk about it. Maybe they go out of their way to take care of her and make sure she feels comfortable. Or maybe they find some other way to make the experience seem weird or out of the ordinary. Let me be clear. You DO want to make sure she is comfortable, and obviously you DO care about her best interests... But... You DON'T want to go out of your way to show it. Why not? Because if you go out of your way, it makes her think that you are concerned about the situation... ...and if YOU are concerned about the situation then that make HER concerned. After all, if you're SURE she's going to have a good time, then you'd just relax and get on with it, without fussing over the details. This may seem like an unimportant detail, but in my experience this is critical. After all, in most cases, women don't actually KNOW how experienced you are. They tend to just sense how comfortable you are with the activity in question, and they use that to decide whether they are in good hands or not. After all, when someone is experienced with something, you can just tell by the relaxed nature by which they do that thing. They do it the same way they would do just about anything else they do everyday, like walking to the supermarket, or driving to work. So... When a woman is in a new experience with you, the LAST thing you want to do is change ANYTHING about your behavior. Here's the best way to think about it: Imagine you met a woman who had never had Ice Cream in her life. Obviously, you'd want to share the experience with her - after all, who doesn't like Ice Cream? But you'd share it with her in a certain way. You'd have no attachment to when she had it - or even IF she had it. After all, it's clear she's going to have it EVENTUALLY, and there's no reason she wouldn't want to have it with you. When you finally do get some ice cream with her you wouldn't be fussing over all the details... After all - Ice Cream is great any way you have it. There's really no way to screw it up, UNLESS you make a big deal out of it. Now me TELLING you to be relaxed and ACTUALLY being relaxed are two different things. As you can imagine, I give a lot of tips and a few exercises in the Zero Drama Dating program available this week. But for now, just notice how you interact with women on a day-to-day basis, and HOLD THAT ENERGY through those moments you want to try something .... new.
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